SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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