you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It's shark week go big or go home
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
