You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
