It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
