My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
