I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
