Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
