Can i not drive my cunt home
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
