My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
jump out the window naked night went bad
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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