My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
