ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
