can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
