all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
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