I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
the condom got lost in my hair
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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