I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
