we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
