i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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