thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
he was CRYING into my vagina
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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