is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
