it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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