She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Blood and glitter go together right?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
