I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
