Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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