Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
