We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
nutella sex= disaster
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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