my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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