Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Randomize
