piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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