Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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