I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
