Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
PANTIES FOUND
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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