Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
