new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
