Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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