if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
