She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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