your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Randomize
