you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
