thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
