WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
