we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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