i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
