She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
