It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
