He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
