We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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