Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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