Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
BRING THE BAGELS
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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