ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
