I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
