you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
