You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
