Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
